What I Lost While Travelling

/ Terry Heck / Leave a comment

Those of you who have been following my blog know that a large part of my trip to Europe was to take my grandmother’s ashes home to Germany. To take her home one last time. I needed to do this to say goodbye. For two years before that I closed myself off from others, from my own feelings and from the people that I love to a rather large degree.

Travelling helped me find myself, find some semblance of closure and my subsequent trip to Thailand has changed the way I think and feel about myself and gave me a renewed sense of love for those around me. I took the traits of kindness, compassion, mercy and love to heart and now try to live like that everyday. I am now the person I used to be, the person I wanted to be again.

For as much as I gained by leaving I also lost something special the moment I decided to go. I lost my significant other, my best friend, my love. In order to get myself right and do the things I needed to do to be me again I ignored the issues we had and was of the mentality that when I got back and was better we would work everything out. Well, I got back from my trip and she moved out. She felt abandoned and alone and I can’t blame her for that. I mentally and emotionally could not be there for her before this, because of the grief I felt. It was not healthy for me, it was not healthy for her. When I got home, it was too late.

I don’t regret many things in life however this is one of them. My inability to feel in turn caused her undue stress and pain. I didn’t know how to deal with it even though some part of me knew I had to. The problem was that I was so focused on my own thoughts and my own stresses and my own hardships that I didn’t take hers into consideration. I waved them off as small details. They were the details that mattered most and I ignored them.

We have been apart for over 6 months and she is with someone else now. I’m not bitter or angry about it because I want her to be happy, I want her to live the life she’s meant for. If it includes me in even some small way then I am a better person for having at least that.

The reason I am telling you guys all of this and the reason I’m talking about it at all is simple. Should you decide to travel, for whatever reason, make sure you are aware of the things you could lose when you are gone. Whether those are friends, family, spouses, a great job or whatever else you leave behind to live your life how you want it. I took the fact that she would be there when I got back from Europe for granted and that is my burden to bare. I have to own it and understand it. It’s not something I want to have to happen a second time.

We all have to be aware of the consequences of our actions, life goals, aspirations, and dreams. Many times our wants and needs can affect others negatively. On the other hand, people have to do what makes them happy. It’s balancing act that can have multiple outcomes, just make sure it’s the right outcome for you, too.

Disclaimer : To those that may read this that know her and know me, I ask that you keep it to yourself. We aren’t linked by social media anymore and she doesn’t need to know that I wrote all of this. It’s part of my process and helped to explain my point from a personal stand point. Thank you in advance for your understanding in this matter.

Island Life – Part One

/ Terry Heck / Leave a comment

Neil and I left for Krabi Town from Chiang Mai via plane, we wanted to get to the islands and this was the fastest (less than two days the night trains would take) and cheapest (if you go by time vs cost factors) way to get closer. We landed in Krabi. The original plan was to use this as a jump point to head to the surrounding Islands. We found a decently rated hostel that was pretty cheap for a private room. We figured out why that was, once we entered the room. The smell hit me like a cement truck barreling down the street. It smelled of durian fruit and nightmares and the bed felt like a re-purposed wooden door. For those unfamiliar with durian, it is a pungent, gym sock smelling fruit that is actually really tasty to me. The nightmares part, well, you can guess what that might smell like, I’ll leave it to your imagination. Regardless, this place was awful and Neil and I decided pretty much immediately that we would move elsewhere in the morning. We used the evening wisely, looking for food markets and seeing what was in the immediate area. Even if we found nothing, I would have been happy just not being in that room.

On our mini excursion there were strange sculptures, odd traffic lights in the shape of cave men which were holding the lights and of course, street food vendors. Now, to be honest, I didn’t take a lot of pictures from here on out, as I was still reeling from the near loss of my camera in our previous segment. That being said, sometimes it’s nice to leave all your bags and just go, without any sort of hindrance to anything that could occur. Wan’t to swim in the river? Without a camera bag attached to you, you can!

We got back to the smelly room and I am pretty sure it sucked out my soul as I slept. So with that in mind, and a good soul and body scrub needed we took off in the morning for Ao Nang, the beach resort area of Krabi.

Deciding to stay at an actual resort for one night was one of the greatest ideas we had. It allowed us to recharge, have overpriced buffet meals, swim in pools where ocean salt would not cake you body and just relax on soft, oh so soft beds. It was so nice, we stayed an extra night. We took one excursion to a few islands while here, among them the Island that they touted as where the movie “The Beach” was filmed. It was an extremely wonderful beach with pristine waters and splendid views, albeit was touristy beyond belief. A far cry from the uninhabited oasis that we saw in the movie.

Our days were ended in this area, our next stop was to be Koh Samui and will be part two of my Island life segment.

Chiang Mai and Welcome to the Jungle

/ Terry Heck / Leave a comment

When we last left off, Neil, myself and our counterparts from Germany and France arrived in Chiang Mai at our hostel “Living Place 3.”

The place was run by a man known only by “V” and his daughter Anna that was visiting from the Czech Republic. “V”, an eccentric, friendly Thai man who was equal parts kind, helpful and generous. His daughter Anna, a twenty year old girl with the same qualities as her father, tended to the front desk. Two of greatest hostel proprietors I would have the pleasure of meeting during this trip.

The hostel itself was quiet, most of the time. Our room was an eight person dorm that we had complete run of, save for a night when one other person needed a bed. There was one hard fast rule about this place, no food or drink in the rooms. Neil found this out the hard way as there was a chocolate milk that had partially spilled in a plastic bag in his backpack. He got ants, a lot of ants. Some rules are meant to be taken seriously I suppose.

Chiang Mai itself was very…..different from both places we had been already. Smaller in size than Bangkok and much larger than Ayutthaya, it was a welcome midpoint between the two. I saw many more expats and travelers here than in Bangkok, primarily because while there we did not stay on Khaosan road. Taking it’s smaller size into account as well. There was truly positive vibe here, a lot of that having to do with the people we traveled there with and the people we met. One of the things I wanted to do while backpacking in Thailand was to eat a tarantula. I was told Chiang Mai had many insect vendors, alas, I could not find my prize within the myriad of stalls available to us.

I had the worst scare of the entire trip here. A night of attending Muay Thai fights turned into a drunken, black out, can’t remember how I got back to the hostel kind of night. Then morning came, I woke up startled and in a panic, I knew something was wrong. I shot out of bed and realized that I lost my camera. I remembered we went to another hotel for an after party, but who knew where that was? I ran down three flights of stairs faster than I ever have before to see if I had left it there before passing out. No, not there either. I had no Idea what to do. I hadn’t backed up my Thailand photographs yet and half of my Europe pictures were on there as well. I was gutted, and simply wanted to cry or break stuff, I couldn’t be sure at the time. I went outside for a cigarette and tried to calm down. One of the other guests was out there already and noticing that I was sheet white asked what was wrong. My sob story was reiterated as calmly as I could. All of a sudden from behind me I hear another voice say to me “Man, I have your camera!” I looked back and saw Matt pulling my camera bag out of his scooter. Apparently he had stayed the night at the other hotel and brought it back for me. It would appear as though I have the greatest luck known to man. I hugged him as tightly as I could, almost uncomfortably so but at least I had it back. The days in Chiang Mai after that were spent ensuring I did not take my camera anywhere that may turn into a particularly un-sober evening.

We spent most of our time relaxing, eating, drinking and making new friends. We did however go zip-lining through the jungle on one day. I don’t think I have mentioned before that I am afraid of heights. It was difficult for me to trust the ropes that were holding me up, not to mention walking across a rope bridge seventy meters above the jungle floor. I did it, however, despite my entire body and mind telling me not to and I am happy that I did.

Two nights were spent in a tree house on the side of a mountain one and a half hours north of Chiang Mai. The views were breathtaking and it was quiet. A welcome juxtaposition from the cities we had been calling home as of late.

A Thai family called this place home and welcomed guests to stay with them. They fed us. Glorious, fantastic, mouth watering northern Thai cuisine.

We went on jungle treks through rivers that ended with us taking in the sight of a fantastic little waterfall. Temples were explored on the second day, along with a cave system that was attached to it. All in all there were a few of the best days I had in Thailand.

Ayutthaya to Chiang Mai – New Friends in a New Land

/ Terry Heck / Leave a comment

Our first five days were over. We got the tattoos we wanted and were off to our next stop. Ayutthaya. Neil and I chose a lot of initial locations and planned the first seven days or so with food in mind. Ayutthaya was no exception. It had the added benefit of being one of Thailand’s previous capitals and another bonus of having ancient temple ruins. It was a win win really. The small town is approximately just over an hour by train, a relatively short trip by train standards, and extremely cheap. It cost us about fifteen Baht each if memory serves, so roughly fifty cents. We were off in the morning, as early as we could drag ourselves out of bed, complete with sleep in our eyes and our backpacks at the ready. The train was uncomfortable at best, mainly because Neil and I had to share a seat which was at the back of the car and smaller than the rest. Grateful that it was only an hour or so we sat there like two peas in a pod that would take a tremendous amount of force to pop out of the shell.

We arrived in Ayutthaya and got off the train realizing in that moment that I had forgotten to save the address of the hostel we were staying at. A local tuk-tuk driver offered to help, no doubt to try and give us a ride afterwards, by taking us to a local restaurant that had WiFi. We found the address and got directions from the driver that said he could take us there. As he looked with hopeful eyes, we declined and opted for walking. Along the way we stopped at a hotel to re-confirm the directions and kept our bearing towards our goal.

As we were walking we noticed a couple that seemed as lost as we were. They were French and had a fair amount of difficulty with English so as we criss-crossed each other a few times the exchanges that were made were small smiles and awkward laughter due to both pairs being slightly lost, even with our directions and their map.

We finally arrived at our hostel and got checked in. It was a small family run place, not many rooms or extras, which was expected, but the staff were friendly and helpful. The only other two people there were a pair young ladies. I overheard them as we walked up the stairs to our room, Germans. I went back downstairs after depositing my bag to have a smoke and sat down next to them. I asked to share their ashtray to which they obliged. Small talk and introductions ensued between the Germans, Julia and Lena, and I. While this was happening Neil took off out of the hostel without a word. I assumed he was grabbing a coffee or water or something similar so I didn’t bother to ask. He arrived back about three minutes later with a large plastic bag full of beer from the F-Mart down the road. It begins, I thought to myself. Without a word he handed out beers to myself and each of the girls while introductions were made again. Another five minutes of the obligatory “Where have you been” and “Where are you going” discussion went by and in walks the French couple from before. Again without words, and while they were walking up the stairs past us, we handed them beers, motioning for them to join us when they settled in. They came back down and introductions were again completed. Ben and Cloe. Our first night become a bit of a drinking game to break the ice and entertain one another. Honestly I never expected that when Neil and I brought up Chiang Mai and our plans there that all of the others would ask/mention/hint that they would like to come along. One night…one night was all it took to become fast friends. I guess that kind of thing happens a lot while travelling. You almost have to become friends quickly because you have no idea how long you will see or know them for. It makes for heightened awareness and a high likelihood of friendship anyway because we were all there for the same reasons. Travel and experiences. Little did I expect to be travelling with Julia and Lena for ten days and Ben and Cloe for five though.

We took an extra day in Ayutthaya in order to ensure that we all got on the same train together. This also meant that we had one extra day to check out more temple sites and more food. Our primary reason for choosing Ayutthaya as a food location was this restaurant we read about that serves massive river prawns. This would be the most expensive meal in Thailand by a huge margin. We dragged the others along with us however we did not expect an hour and a half long tuk-tuk ride each way in torrential rain. In any case, we arrived and were seated. Immediately we ordered the prawns and they certainly did not disappoint.

After temples the second day We left for Chiang Mai on our night train, this one fourteen hours, with all of our new friends with us. I found sleep difficult due to the noise and motion of the train but managed to get enough broken up rest that the day would be fine. Neil and I had a plan of action for Chiang Mai, at least for the hostel we wanted to stay at. As I was beginning to understand all to well, plans can change quite rapidly. We adjusted our plan so that the six of us could all stay at the same hostel. We settled in at Living Place 3, dropped our bags and proceeded to discuss what the next set of plans were. That is for next time, though.

Hey Neil? Yeah Terry? Welcome to Thailand! 

/ Terry Heck / Leave a comment

The title of this post is the sentence we have used so often when something crazy happens, when we see something awesome, when the rain is torrential or basically for anything that we find that is new and exciting. It symbolizes our sense of wonder, our bond as friends and travelling partners and our like mindedness. We first used it whilst exiting the airport in Bangkok and at least once or twice a day after that.

I find it slightly difficult to blog often as there are so many things to see and do here and all until the wee hours of the morning. That being said this post will be about our first five days here (we have been here ten but writing that much at once would be a long read for you guys). I am hoping to find more time as we go, perhaps during more relaxing sections of the trip.

Our story begins in Bangkok on October 29th at 3:00am. Stepping off the plane we were immediately hit with a heavy amount of humidity and heat. The kind that makes you sticky almost instantly. As we were running on adrenaline, excitement and wanderlust about being in the place we both wanted to be in the weather hardly actually mattered. Our hostel’s front desk was not accepting guests until 7am and seeing as how we had approximately four hours to kill we took a cab there anyway and wandered around the streets of Bangkok until check in. Staying within a two block radius we found late night eateries, street food vendors starting their days and a twenty four hour bar attached to a hotel near us. We took the opportunity to have a few beers and wait out the night.

Neil and First Beers

Neil and First Beers

After the night passed and check in took place at “Siamaze Hostel” we got up to our private room which was quite comfortable and had great air conditioning. We chose a private room for the first night of our adventure because we just wanted some initial peace and quiet after a very long thirty six hours of travel. There wasn’t much interaction between guests at this particular hostel due to what I can only describe as severe language barriers. This hostel would be our home for four nights, mainly because of the appointments we made to have Sak Yant tattoos administered by a Buddhist monk.

During these first days much of our time was spent eating, exploring various malls, walking the streets and seeing sights. The city is massive, the traffic horrendous but the food, amazing. Below you will see the empty bowls of the fantastic boat noodles we had at Boat Noodle Alley and the street food we procured one evening. The little blue and white balls were and are one of my favorite things I have had so far. They consist of smashed peanuts, rolled with a sweet substance and surrounded by a rice based paste. It is sweet and savory and so very, very addictive.

The days came and went, time feeling both as slow as falling sap along a tree and as fast as a speeding tuk-tuk. Senses of wonder melding together to create one large, lasting impression for both Neil and myself.

Then the day came, the day I’ve wanted to happen since my late teens. The day I get tattooed by a monk and have blessings placed upon me. The tattoo I received is called Tong Maharat, or the Great Flag. It signifies mercy, kindness, compassion and good luck in love. These are qualities that I attempt to adhere to as best I can and it meant a lot to me to have placed on my body. The monk providing me with the tattoo in the picture below is named Ajarn Bpom, or Master Bpom in English.

This experience was more than I could have hoped for. If I only came to Thailand to have the tattoo done I could have left a happy man. The way I felt after it was complete was indescribable. It was just amazing to be able to fulfill a dream I created so long ago.

The day after the tattoos we were on a train to Ayutthaya in the morning to delve into the giant river prawns that the area is famous for as well as temple sightseeing. My next post will begin there. For now I am off to get some more of that street food I’ve started to crave.

Keep your eyes on the horizon,

Terry

What to do When Your Travel Partner has an Expired Passport and you Leave in 3 Days

/ Terry Heck / 3 Comments

I asked Neil if his passport was good to go. His reply was something along the lines of “I don’t see why it wouldn’t be”. This was on Thursday, we leave tomorrow which is Sunday. I asked him to humour me and go grab it. Before he looked at it I requested to see it first. He handed it over and I opened it. I saw the worst possible thing I could see. It expired in July of 2015. He thought I was messing with him when I hung my head and said an expletive under my breath. I handed it back and he saw what I saw. Instant freaking out on his part, laughter on mine. I guess that’s how my brain decided to deal with the potential dream crush that Neil was facing.

We spent the night scouring the internet for information and creating contingency plans. You see, we only have one passport office within a huge distance. They are open Monday to Friday and on their website they state you can do an emergency passport request but it takes one business day. This is heartbreaking at the time because we had exactly one day, Friday, to get his passport.

During this time we went to a twenty four hour pharmacy to get new passport photos, stopped at a whiskey bar for a really amazing old fashioned, printed off our itineraries and got everything else together to make it as easy as possible to do his renewal.

The contingency plans mentioned above were varied and some were downright crazy. If you go back a few years it took so long to get a passport because all of our information had to be sent to a central office in Ottawa, Ontario. One of our plans was to have them make it there, take a flight immediately and pick it up from their central office. The other plan was to get it sent to the only office open on a Saturday, in Whitby, Ontario, take a flight to Toronto, drive to Whitby, pick it up, and skip the first flight that we would have had out of Winnipeg. Just take the flight out of Toronto to Shanghai since we were there anyway. Some less insane options were along the lines of changing all three flight for Neil, which would have been a huge amount of money, or cancel it, which neither of us wanted.

So with all the potential options in our heads we decided to be the first people in line at the passport office and take our chances and then either be golden or go with a crazy alternative.

Fast forward to Friday at 7am. Neil is still freaking out at this point, which is absolutely warranted. I was taking it a little more in stride and telling him that regardless of what happens I would work something out. I’m a fixer, always have been, and I wasn’t going to let this ruin things, no matter what.

We walked up to the lady at the office, explained the situation and made our best attempts at what could only be described as Bambi eyes. She looked up, asked how Neil didn’t know, he gave an answer. She paused, looked back at the computer, and looked back up. I wasn’t sure if she was toying with us or was looking at options. With a smile, she said it wouldn’t be a problem and that he could have it as early at 3:30pm the same day.

So for all of our scheming, worrying, looking at silver linings, making plans and Neil looking like he was on the verge of throwing up, it was unnecessary. Apparently they now print them at the office in our city and it’s a hell of a lot easier to do.

So all in all, in regards to the title of this post, you freak out for a while, work out alternative plans, get to the office and have your passport in nine hours. It could have ended much worse than it did and I, for one, am glad it did not. I really didn’t want to have to do any of the plans we came up with.

With sighs of relief from both of us, we left the government agency and went for breakfast. All was well in the world again.

Never give up hope. There are always options. Some may be pretty, some may be ugly, some may be insane, but there are always fixes to situations in life. Whether it be travel or anything else, if you want something, don’t give up on it.

We fly out at 9am tomorrow morning and are in store for a long day and a half of flights, airports, naps and excitement. I am looking very forward to all of it.

Cheers!

Two Weeks Until Take Off!

/ Terry Heck / Leave a comment

We are quickly approaching our departure to Thailand. As each day goes by I get more and more excited to embark on the trip to one of my top three bucket list destinations. Another was scratched off the list in Europe (Prague) so just one more to go. Granted, I doubt I will stop there, nor will I lose my sense of Wanderlust but it is always good to have goals.

Neil is currently enveloped in a move with his girlfriend from their apartment to a house. The move combined with his first half way around the world trip, not knowing what to expect and being on such short notice has him pretty stressed out.

The saving grace is the fact that we aren’t really planning anything. Which, if you read my last post, was the agreement we made about the trip. Essentially, as of now, we have the first hostel in Bangkok booked for four days and a tattoo booked with a Buddhist monk within that same time frame. After that we are going to take things as they come and not stress out about where we want to be. We will let the winds take us where they may and depending on who we meet things could change in a matter of a second. Split decisions are what I like, it keeps me on my toes and feels more in line with what I am like in my non-travelling life. Both Neil and I are pretty go with the flow kind of people and I think this particular quality that we share will make our stay in Thailand infinitely more enjoyable and will allow us to feel far less rushed.

I made a promise to myself to get over a fear or two of that I have while on this adventure. The main one, a fear of heights, is my primary target. I hope to, I don’t know, maybe climb up a mountain or fly around a jungle or something, no clue yet. If this goal can fall in line with the no ahead of time planning aspect then I will definitely be doing it.

I will be posting one or two more times before we leave. The next one will likely be the gear list, including pics.

Keep your eyes on the horizon! If you will be in Thailand from September 29th until October 22nd, let me know, maybe we can hang out or at least grab a beer!

It’s Official! Off to the Land of Smiles

/ Terry Heck / 8 Comments

I am beyond excited to be leaving home again on the 27th of September. Thailand has been on my list since as long as I can remember. Finally, this dream is becoming a reality.

As of right now, my very good friend Neil will be coming with me on this trip. He is just as stoked as I am. We aren’t going in with much of a plan other than get there, get to our first hostel and see where travel takes us. We know we will be spending a few days in Bangkok and that we will be heading to Chiang Mai for a larger portion of time. Renting scooters and booting it around northern Thailand is a definite possibility as well, using Chaing Mai as a base camp of sorts. Kind of a scooter travel extravaganza as it were.

That is what we will call the skeleton of the trip. Anything that happens in between will be as we go. Perhaps an impromptu flight to Vietnam? Maybe a delve into Cambodia? Essentially we do not want to overload ourselves, and have made the agreement to have slower, spontaneous travel and see where the wind takes us. I may also end up getting a new tattoo from a monk. I’m pretty sure that’s on my itinerary as of now.

Again, I am beyond ecstatic about this journey we are going to take. I’ll keep you all posted as things happen. This is one of those trips that I might just get my wish of having a ridiculous, over the top, crazy once in a lifetime story to tell; One can only hope.

So, as far as the blog is concerned over the next 3 weeks, we will talk about the process, trials and tribulations of getting things sorted and the gear we are taking as well as packing techniques and general information.

We’ll talk soon, promise! Keep your eyes on the horizon!

Thirty Days of Europe Recap and What Comes Next

/ Terry Heck / Leave a comment

I want to start off by saying I feel truly blessed to have been able to take this adventure. From the sights, to the sounds, to the food, to the personal reasons that I went. Everything turned out great.

Now I know normally when someone takes an extended life break to go somewhere else in the world they often come back with a horror story of some kind. Their camera gets stolen, they miss flights, they lose luggage; Things we all hear about and dread experiencing.

I don’t really have one of those crazy stories of hardship on the road. Part of me is thankful for that, and part of me is sad about it. I don’t have an insane one of a kind tale to tell, but what I do have are stories of personal growth, making changes, fulfilling promises and enjoying life.

I got to go to places that I’ve dreamed of for so long, I got to take my Oma home one last time. I got Cecile to drink far too much really shitty Italian liquor and walk the streets (sorry again for the day after, heh), I got to spend thirty days with my birth mother, as mentioned above, which I think brought us closer together than we were before. I experienced so many things, saw so much, and reveled in it the entire time. It taught me a lot about myself and a lot about others; Their cultures, dynamics, history, views, the list of items could go on, so I’ll stop there. I learned, through trial by fire, how to use my camera more efficiently and properly. I took something like five thousand pictures and still have ye to go through a lot of them.

If I had to have one drawback of the experience, it was that I learned that seeing ten countries in thirty days is a bit too fast for me. I would have liked to cut the country list by about two or three places. The flip-side of this statement is that after going to these places I now know the countries to cut, where I really didn’t before. So perhaps that makes my slow down point moot? Maybe, but I still think if I ever have the chance to do it again, it would be be at a slower rate.

On that point, if I ever do Europe again, it would likely contain mainly countries in the east. Not only are they easier on the wallet but also the people seems much more available. By that I mean eastern Europeans seemed way more laid back, far easier to approach and speak with about a veritable gambit of topics. The next European adventure would likely contain Croatia, Hungary and Romania. Those would be my big three.

Those that have been following me know that I was fired from my job the Friday before we were to get on the plane. They had agreed to the time off, even had me work extra days to make up for it, then let me go due to “restructuring”, whatever that means. Essentially it was the only way my boss could legally get rid of me (him and I did not see eye to eye on the way he treated people and my drivers, which I brought up on numerous occasions, guess he didn’t like that). So rather than let it get me down, well, I just didn’t. Once we got back, reality kinda set in that I have a mortgage to pay, bills, responsibilities. Even so, I kinda just said screw it the other day and have decided to go to Thailand in two to four weeks. I figure I can still do it right now, without much of a consequence, so why not? Then when I get back the intense job hunt can begin.

So going forward, should Thailand become a reality, you will hear from me while I travel the Land of Smiles! I hope you can join me on that adventure as well.

As always, keep your eyes on the horizon!

Germany – Taking Oma Home

/ Terry Heck / 4 Comments

It’s been a tough blog entry for me to write this time around. This story is primarily about my Oma (grandmother in German). It’s been difficult for me to finish because every time I start I get ultra emotional and find it difficult to formulate into words how amazing and special she was to me. I want this post to be as close to perfect that I can get it, she was and is worth every word.

omiyoung

This is Margaretha Heck, my Oma, or Omi as I called her from the time I could speak. She died suddenly, in November of 2012; It was the single hardest day of my life. This -oh so- strong, brilliant, eloquent, kind, caring and wonderful woman basically raised me from the time I was a baby until I was fourteen years old while both of my parents worked. I learned so much from her and idolized her in a way that I cannot explain. She is my heart, and always will be. I miss her terribly. Just writing this and remembering her face, her laugh, her voice….

It was very painful for me for a long time because I never really got to say goodbye. I didn’t get to say goodbye to the most important person in my life and I lost my heart that day, in more ways than one.

I decided the day she died, or very very soon after, that I wanted to do something for her that she always talked about doing but always made excuses why she shouldn’t, she was pretty stubborn like that. I was a little late but, I took her home, one last time. I wish she could have been alive to see it. I hope she still did, in some way.

I knew during this trip I had to go to Germany to accomplish what I set out to do. It ended up being our last stop before heading back home (thank you Cecile for agreeing to go there, it meant a lot to me).

I enlisted the help of my dad for driving directions from Frankfurt to Bühlerzell and he decided to print off about twenty maps, all section by section, complete with his red marker notes. Thanks dad!

Bühlerzell is a town of approximately fifteen hundred people. This was where Omi was born and grew up. Her father was the principal of the school, which also doubled as their home. This home is now city hall, so it made it easy to find, along with dad’s maps.

My plan was for her as much as it was for me. I wanted to spread her ashes at the place she was born in order to fulfill my promise to myself of taking her home and in the process getting to say goodbye how I wanted and needed to. I originally did not plan on visiting her oldest friend from childhood, Tilly, as well as the extended family that that brought with it. I did change my mind however, as I realized that they never got to say goodbye either and for me to be selfish and only think of myself in this situation would have been exactly what Omi would have given me shit for. So, thinking of her and what she would want, I buried half of the ashes in the flower gardens at city hall (it just so happened that the flowers were her favorite ones) and took the container with the other half and ventured a block and half down the road to Tilly’s house.

I knocked on the door and the look of surprise on Tilly’s face was great. However it was because my dad told them I was going to be coming the day before I actually got there. They had invited the entire family over and everyone was gathered there to see us and we didn’t show (Thanks again, Dad :P).

See, the issue is that I do not speak German very well. I understand it and can listen but I cannot communicate back which is why having the family there the day before was important, as some can speak English. So what did Tilly do now that we were a day late? She called her grandchildren to come by as translators instead. The day went by swimmingly. A few hiccups in communication but an overall great experience. So with the day winding to a close, I presented her with the container with the last half of Omi’s ashes. Things got emotional and we shared a moment that will forever be ingrained in my head. She looked at me with teary eyes and thanked me many times. I saw it then, the same thing I felt when I buried her at the flowers. A small sense of closure, and while sad, a small happiness that she now gets to say goodbye as well.

I’ve been told since coming back home that when Tilly dies then Omi’s ashes will be buried in the coffin with her so that they can remain best friends, together in the afterlife. I found this especially heartwarming and thoughtful. Tilly gets to do what she needs to do for herself and for Omi as much as I did and I am glad that I changed my mind about going there. It was necessary and the right thing to do.

Since getting back to Winnipeg, the piece of my heart is still missing, but the rest of my heart is getting stronger and picking up the slack. I don’t know if I even want the piece back fully because I don’t want to forget. I want to always be able to remember her face and mannerisms from memory instead of pictures. This lets me do that.

Rest in Peace Omi, I’m glad we got to say goodbye. I will always miss you, love you and cherish you for the the person you were. I want to thank you for helping me so much and influencing me in all the ways you did to make me the person I am today.

Ok, well, that’s the end of Europe. I still have work to do, a recap blog, pictures to post and a couple of other goodies to deal with.

I’m thinking about going to Thailand for three weeks, pretty soon actually, perhaps within the next month or so. More on that later.

I wanted to thank all the people that took the time to read my story so far and to those that have followed me along the way. I will continue to put out content as quickly as I can.